Aughtsterion
Valentine (2001)

Valentine (2001)

January 21, 2021

This episode of Aughtsterion may not have Sam, but it does have guest host Kalyn Corrigan and plenty of discussion about Denise Richards. And that's not just because she's an icon; it's because she's an icon in the 2001 slasher Valentine. Riding ride up against the bifurcated zone in Millennium Horror that was split apart by the events of 9/11, Valentine is a last remnant of the Tank Top Terror era's softer fare — a final bubblegum ensemble piece born of Kevin Williamson's supreme reign over the genre. Though not heralded with the classics like Scream or I Know What You Did Last Summer, Valentine is a gem, a murder movie that's both super entertaining (with a super-charged in her swagger Denise Richards) and an amazing little window into how pop culture would change in the wake of a massive attack within its borders. Horror is life and life is horror.

 

Produced by: Jordan Crucchiola

Music by: Sam Wineman

The Quiet (2005)

The Quiet (2005)

January 14, 2021

For a wildly unpredictable new year, Sam and Jordan have a wildly unpredictable Aughtsterion coming at you thanks to Jamie Babbit's 2005 meditation on Very Sad Mysteries: The Quiet. This episode is really one for the books you guys, because it finds your co-hosts lobbying for The Quiet as the definitive 2000s anti-erotic thriller while providing you with a huge insider tip for how to get cast in a Sam Wineman feature film. Elisha Cuthbert is saying fuck your girl next door fantasies. Katy Mixon is giving a tour de force mean girl performance. Edie Falco is a tragic "prescript-a-holic", and taken all together, Babbit is leading this ensemble through a blistering commentary on the tropes of patriarchal Lolita lust in genre. If you wrote this movie off before then wake your ass up. It's time to correct the record.

 

Produced by: Jordan Crucchiola

Music by: Sam Wineman

The Roommate (2011)

The Roommate (2011)

January 7, 2021

In the first episode of 2021, Sam and Jordan have something to teach you, and that something is: You were completely wrong about 2011's The Roommate, starring two true Aughts Princesses in Minka Kelly and Leighton Meester. Plenty of people dismissed the movie as yet another lesser Single White Female upon its release. But what if it's actually... an improvement on that classic forbearer? As always, your co-hosts will make the passionate case for why this movie deserves your time and respect, in addition to laying out why The Roommate is in fact the spiritual end of what we know as 2000s pop culture. Put on your cinnamon lip gloss and get ready to fall in love in the club bathroom. We've got a date with a psychosexual co-living thriller.

 

Produced by: Jordan Crucchiola

Music by: Sam Wineman

Repo! The Genetic Opera (2008)

Repo! The Genetic Opera (2008)

December 31, 2020

It's time for Aughtsterion to go full gay by celebrating both musicals and Paris Hilton with Repo! The Genetic Opera. In this episode, Jordan is joined by theater kid BJ Colangelo (with Sam cheering us on from the ether) to talk about this most ostentatious 2000s time capsule, and make the case for the Oscar is should have won. Get ready to body roll to "Zydrate Anatomy" while you come around to understanding why you were wrong about Paris all those years ago. 

 

Produced by: Jordan Crucchiola

Music by: Sam Wineman

Silent Night (2012)

Silent Night (2012)

December 24, 2020

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas, Aughtsterion family! Although the spirit of the season feels a little bit lacking in 2020, Jordan and Sam simply couldn't let the advent calendar go empty without one more chapter of winter wonderland content for you. This time, your co-hosts immerse themselves in the weird and wild world of Silent Night, the 2012 remake of trash Christmas classic Silent Night, Deadly Night. And Sam is taking a BIG SWING on the true meaning of this late era Aughsterion entry. Jordan gets red pilled and Jamie King gets her flowers as we wrap the pod in tinsel and dress it in a too-short sexy Santa dress one more time this year.

 

Produced by: Jordan Crucchiola

Music by: Sam Wineman

The Craft (1996)

The Craft (1996)

December 17, 2020

It's time, sleepover horror fans; it's time to go back to the 90s. As Sam and Jordan have established, the arc of Aughtsterion is not limited to the '00 to '10 run of the 2000s proper. Instead, it starts in the year of our lord (Wes Craven) and his landmark movie Scream, which was 1996, the very same year when Neve Campbell took us by storm twice in a pair of teen horror classics. The other of which was: The Craft. To break down this goth touchstone, your co-hosts are joined by a very special guest, Jemma Moore, who you might know from starring in The Host, aka one of 2020's best horror movies. She's done her research on witches, while Sam and Jordan have done their research on Hot Topic. Beware the weirdos, mister, because they're right here.

 

Produced by: Jordan Crucchiola

Music by: Sam Wineman

Minisode — Your 2000s Christmas Playlist

Minisode — Your 2000s Christmas Playlist

December 15, 2020

We may not be able to have Christmas parties in 2020, but we can still have solo Christmas dance parties in the confines of our homes. In this minisode, Sam and Jordan put together a dream playlist that will have you thinking of tinsel, Hervé Leger bandage dresses, twinkling lights, and applying thick coats of lip gloss while you listen to holiday tunes from the likes of the Lohan sisters, NSYNC, and even Los Del Río. XMas comes but once a year, and your co-hosts couldn't miss the opportunity to reclaim the lost seasonal jams of the aughts in the midst of their pursuit to Criterion classify their favorite tank top horror movies.

 

Produced by: Jordan Crucchiola

Music by: Sam Wineman 

Black Christmas (2006)

Black Christmas (2006)

December 10, 2020

Hang your stockings by the chimney with care, and don't forget to leave a gift for Billy under the tree, Aughtsterion fans, because this time around Jordan and Sam are joined by director Chelsea Stardust to discuss Black XMas from 2006. It's got a hall of fame cast, excessive amounts of eye trauma, impeccable Christmas vibes, a bad attitude, and a completely outrageous villain origin story. In other words, it's tank top horror all the way down to its bones. In addition to taking the Christ out of Christmas, Sam, Jordan, and Chelsea are here to call for justice for director Glen Morgan, and for an end to the disrespect heaped on fans of 2000s era terror. Ho ho ho, and in the words of Leigh Colvin, "Fuck you Santa Claus."

 

Produced by: Jordan Crucchiola

Music by: Sam Wineman

Minisode — When Did XMas Get Gay?

Minisode — When Did XMas Get Gay?

December 7, 2020

With the holiday season and Hulu's Happiest Season upon us, that means it's time to tap into Sam's other most passionate realm of obsession: Christmas. From the Family Channel specials and straight to video releases of the 2000s through the Freeform, Hallmark, Lifetime, and Netflix entries of the 2010s, Sam looks past the ship wars of Clea DuVall's new holiday hit and takes Jordan on a quick tour of when and how Christmas started becoming XMas, and in the process gives you a programming guide for what to watch as you countdown to the coronavirus sponsored edition of Santa's big day.

 

Produced by: Jordan Crucchiola

Music by: Sam Wineman 

Minisode — Essential Aly & AJ

Minisode — Essential Aly & AJ

December 3, 2020

Sometimes there's just too much aughts to pack into one episode of Aughtsterion, and when that happens we will serve you essential content in minisodes, the first of which features Sam going into manic detail about the five best Aly & AJ songs that don't get enough attention. It's the best time of year, and it's here, because Sam and Jordan are talking about 2000s era pop. 

 

Produced by: Jordan Crucchiola

Theme music by: Sam Wineman

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